Mjulubeng

Ever since the damning revelations about the inspiration behind Naiorbi’s landmark, KICC, the term mjulubeng (udogo ni kajulubeng, ukubwa ni kulundeng – for those who don’t know) comes to mind. Sometimes in public, a strange little smile forms in my face, which a psychiatrist would definitely diagnose as the early stages of lunacy. But do I mind? Absolutely not. Because the term mjulubeng is way too hilarious.

This word, mind you, is not a product of random assignments. The person who conjured it up did not excuse himself to that filthy urinal at his local and had a eureka moment. He didn’t open his fly, fish the thing out and as he watched the trajectory of his money [already converted into unusable liquid form, unless for perverted sexual fetish] and had divine inspiration. He then exclaims as he staggers out of the bacteria infested toilet, ‘wow! From now on it’s called mjulubeng.’

No. It is far from it. Balding scientists sat in laboratories [it’s been years and I still say labarotory] for ages, disguised as space researchers, in order to come with this hilarious combination of words that would define a man’s favourite body part – mine is the brain. These scientists came in, day in day out, months in months out as they hammered words together to make this complex word. And every evening, when their wives asked them what they were doing, they calmly said:

“Space research,”  

“You mean you want to go the moon?” a prodding wife asks.

“Sort of,” the balding scientist says curtly.

And so they worked tirelessly, even avoiding alcohol because it would speed up the process. They had lucrative contracts. When they thought they wouldn’t come up with a word according to the specifications given, one of them had an insight: he told the others he was going to have a drink. All of the followed him and their contracts were severed.

But that was not the end.

Sitting in his room at approximately 3.17 am in the morning, wondering how he would write twenty pages due in a few hours, a university student cracked the code, giving birth to the now famous word mjulubeng. It follows that he never wrote 20 pages and decided to dedicate his campus life to making memes and shagging girls with intellectual depth of a fishing rod. He used the word extensively in the memes he created, until it stuck in people’s brains.

And now it is one hilarious word that will last for a long time. Cheers to mjulubeng.