Sunday 12 March 2023

An Ode To Ugali

I love ugali. Admittedly, I was 'forced' to love it, more like an arranged marriage, except the absence of options. An arranged marriage is worse when there are options. When there aren't, you will grudgingly learn to love whoever was chosen for you, because - get ready for the groundbreaking revelation - you have no OPTION. In a nutshell, that's how I began a lifelong affair with ugali.

We ate ugali for breakfast, ate it for lunch, and ate it for supper. It wasn't a big deal. We did not know that something else existed apart from ugali or its related variations such as porridge and mkarango. If it was possible, we'd eat ugali accompanied by ugali.

I learnt the other day why it was impossible. I haven't looked at it the same again. A few foreigners were asked to rate ugali and they came with one unanimous conclusion - it is very TASTELESS. I have interacted with ugali all my life and I had never thought of it as tasteless.

It forced me to reminisce my primary school days. For those who went to boarding school, I know they understand the kind of torture we went through. Most of it revolved around food. Our experience (or at the very least most of us) at the fabled KHA were tough. I can legitimately blame it in all my addictions.

Nothing ever came close to the trauma we experienced in boarding. We were fed with just enough food to keep us alive and endure a few strokes of cane from time to time, especially for people like me whose IQs then competed favourably with donkey hooves.

I remember how I'd wait anxiously for the bell to ring for meals. Immediately after meals, I'd begin the anxious wait for the next meal. If anything KHA's food did not fill up your stomach. It made you hungrier.

It turns out that the go-to meal was ugali. The sight of large ugali was probably arousing at the time. We had developed a secret and strict code of eating it. We'd begin with veges using the scorched earth policy. You'd never see a trace of anything remotely related to the badly cooked cabbages or sukuma wiki.

I remember one female teacher chanced upon this sinister ugali-eating protocol. She pitied one boy who got a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have his plate replenished with the badly cooked mbogas which was a delicacy by the way. It had to be - we had no choice.

However, when the female teacher looked around, she realised that all boys did not have vegetables on their plate. She might have thought there was an anomaly somewhere or the cooks deliberately denied boys veges. We must have laughed because she did not know out secret code.

At the time, ugali was not tasteless. We loved it the way it was. As far as we were concerned, ugali was blameless and upright. We even began trading ugali for bread. It was simple, you gave another person ugali and the other person would repay you with bread.

I loved ugali so much that I often traded it for my bread. The bread wasn't that big either. It was an eighth. But both commodities had equal value. Half for half, full for full. When I talk about equal value, I do not mean the entire loaf, but just the eighth.

Since I wasn't big on bread, my memories are slightly skewed towards ugali. There was something controversial about those who loved bread during our time at KHA.

Now, it has been revealed that ugali is tasteless. One person even likened to wet cement. However, it won't break our tight relationship, which is strengthened more by KHA memories.

Although I do not look at ugali the same way, the love for it will forever remain

  

No Lie

I have not heard a bigger lie 
than one perpetuated by 
infatuated lovers 
they say they love each other
just the way they are 
what a bunch of hogwash!! 

I'll not love someone's daughter 
just the way she is - 
man, I gotta have standards 
or bare minimums 
she must have a verifiable source of income 
because it's what I must have - 
but for me it'll probably be just an income 

I'll not tolerate her acting fishy 
fiddling her phone in a suspicious manner 
I have no interest in her phone 
I will never even attempt to check it 
But if she smiles shyly when a notification 
pops up 
or leaves the room when she gets a phone call 

she has to cook 
she has to clean 
and I'll stretch my feet on the sofa 
no lie 
and many other things that I 
may think about later 
strangely, I'll expect her to know them 


Friday 10 March 2023

I Don't Envy Your Love

looking at you at arms length, 
I thought there was more to you, 
only accessed in secret places, 
like your heart, or a dark place 

then I knew you, and bridged 
that uncertain stretch between
unfamiliarity to friendship 
and we became more than friends 

it was exciting in the beginning, 
well, all relationships begin
with that sinister excitement 
and the hope that it will be alright 

we worked to maintain decorum 
to present ourselves in ways 
that wouldn't have the other 
bolting for the hills 

but then you grew comfortable 
after knowing all my secrets 
imperfections and what not 
you had made it, I guess you thought 

I no longer envy your love 
I do not crave it as much as I used to 
it wasn't even love 
it was a convenient arrangement 
to waste each other's time 



Tuesday 7 March 2023

A Battle With Self

when truth and pain merge, 
out emerges a soldier 
worn from a long battle with self 
the invisible scars don't speak 
but mutter amongst themselves 
of the needless adventure 
the soldier suffers from PTSD 
he won the battle with self 
but the war still rages on 
never unending 

Abstract Artiste

I looked at the canvas 
a little longer than it takes an artiste, 
I am no Picasso 
A few scribbles, random lines 
and I declare my work of art complete 
an abstract art 

I have lived far too long, 
with the hope, slowly merging 
with despair, 
that there was an artiste inside me 
ready to conquer the world 
but the artiste never shows up 

he sends emissaries 
with letters of jumbled words 
vainly apologising 
but the letters often seem to dance 
on an unmarked grave 

Can You Endure

can you endure long silence 
endure my seemingly unwarranted 
moments of listless solitude 
can you endure the same response, 
when you inquire about 
my meaningless brooding? 

can you endure days I'll long 
for peace more than your kiss? 
can you be still strong
after wondering what's amiss?

can you endure my nonchalance 
my carefree attitude
my cavalier approach to romance 
can you still stay with my wanton mood?



Splintered

I am basking in the undistinguished
glory of splintered dreams 
the derailed course of my life, 
offers not the perfect photo opportunity 
to project an image of success 
I am, by a design, a man who 
inadvertently got satisfied with very little 
and every step, thereafter, 
was all about accomplishing the
bare minimum 
but trust me, I know how long a man 
can last on bare minimum 
and it's not that long
barring constitutional intervals