No More Nightmares

the nights are no longer long 
the ticking clock no longer drawls 
I ceased wondering 
about where I went wrong 

time is nigh, I feel it, 
energy gushes out of me 
like a burst water pipe 
I am no longer full of shit 

there are no more nightmares 
the past seems long gone, 
and a gleaming future awaits me 
step by step, I climb up the stares 

The Awakening

In a deep slumber lay a memory,

buried yet it never died, 

it still donned its vital signs 

more like a badge 

a testimony to an unforgettable story

Many moons later, 

the memory awoke, 

dusted itself, 

picked up the relics of its dignity 

and began its familiar routine 

torturing an innocent soul 

whose only crime was 

to love ever so deeply   

The Uncertain Journey

don't I always wish I felt good, 

from the moment I open my eyes, 

to the moment I lay my head to rest 

boy, I how I wish I could 

but it's just a wish in an uncertain journey,

one minute I am so sure about my steps 

the next minute I tumbling downhill 

and, trust me, there is nothing funny 

sometimes I feel the universe cheering me 

and I summon the energy to trudge on 

a minute later, all I hear is the loud jeers 

in an instant, the world becomes blurry 

I wish I could find joy in life's uncertainties

living knowing disappointment by that corner  

and still find the courage to face it 

even if I am granted a thousand such eternities 

If You Meet Meet Me

If we ever meet on a dark street, 

and you recognize me, 

please have the the courtesy 

to mind your business 

like I will 

because it will be our secret

Mutura Aficionado

Mutura is one of those mystery delicacies that you must enjoy from time to time unless the doctor expressly stated, in writing and in presence of a lawyer, that you risk your life if you partake in this street cuisine. Well, there are also other rules handed down from generation to generation. I present to you a summarized list of these rules. 

Be fiercely loyal to your mutura guy

A man is supposed to be fiercely loyal to two things: a football team, a barber, and a mutura seller. When you think deeply about these things, they cannot be explained, which is the whole point of living. What is the point of living if you have to justify your obsessions? There is a reason why it’s hard to break into the mutura business – people are loyal to their joints. You open for two days, and close because people are used to a particular taste – and particular here means ‘not your taste.’ A man will trek three kilometers, as we often did, to that one guy who knew our taste. 

Do not order mutura in bulk 

Mutura does not brag. You do not order, say mutura ya soo at once. Nobody will think highly of you if that’s what you want. You order in bits of ten or twenty. You must taste it first. There’s always an off-chance that it could taste like a witch’s sock (which brings us to rule one since you have grown accustomed to his taste). When you are satisfied with the taste, you consult your wallet and if it agrees, you order another one. And another. And another….

All mutura must be eaten at the mutura base, on that chopping board 

I have seen people, especially ladies, order mutura and ask for it to be wrapped. That level of insolence toward a sacred snack is intolerable. You break so many laws of mutura. And you should be in jail. First, you will order in bulk, second, you do not let your wallet chase you from the base. No one worth his salt goes around carrying mutura. What if someone knocks it off? Have you ever asked yourself what could happen? You haven’t, clearly. 

Mutura must be eaten only after the sun sets 

You see, according to research conducted by Harvard School of Mutura, parasites aka minyoo also like mutura. You need to eat only in dark, when they cannot see. Otherwise, is there a point in making such a sacrifice? I doubt the research, though. However, I will not tell you what I saw during curfew and mutura guys would open at 3 pm. Ask a hygiene-nazi close to you. 

Do not ever want to see how mutura is made 

As far as I was concerned, the ingredients of mutura were a mystery to me. Not until a stupid mzungu shot a video about it to boost his dwindling YouTube views. I was disgusted at that mzungu for revealing the secret ingredients of a beloved food. On a serious note, you may hate mutura if you see how it’s made. The only consolation is that it is not laced with any chemicals as preservatives. 

There is no reason why you eat mutura

This is the last rule. There is no reason why eat or should eat mutura. There is no reason why you shouldn’t eat it either. Nobody knows the nutritional value of mutura. Research might even establish that it has zero calories. It cannot be a meal. You cannot survive on mutura alone. No doctor will either prescribe mutura or tell you that you shouldn’t eat mutura if you want to vote for the Hustler government to screw us all over again. I have only heard one guy try to explain mutura, “you are wasting mutura if you do not have a wife.” As I write this, I have never understood what he meant. It was his own reason and his reason alone. He does not represent any sane mutura-loving human being. 

Words

the words dance in slow mournful 

grace, 

inhibited by the mystery it fails 

to reveal, 

the silent rhythm crawls through

each letter, 

revealing nothing more than their  

inadequacy 

and, determinedly, embark on 

their mysterious sojourns, 

into unknown worlds 

perhaps where they can find warmth 

Poverty Is A Sin

What if, pray tell, we discover one day that poverty was a sin all along? Well, it will be too late then but just think about it. As for me, I do not want to wait until it’s too late. An ancient Greek philosopher said ‘mapema ndio best’ and these words couldn’t be any truer now than it was back then. 

I have thought deeply about this like any man capable of thinking reasonably from time to time. For that matter, I expect myself to make myself filthy rich with the least amount of effort and within the shortest time possible. You do not have to have a particularly high IQ to reach such an intellectual conclusion. Me, I have purposed to be rich for the past three years or so years. Somewhere along the Adulting Road, I realized that my obsessions cost a lot of money. And just like the next person, I could use a million shillings. 

I do not believe that money cannot buy happiness. Or love. Anybody who tells you that money cannot buy happiness has more money than he ever needs, is terminally ill, or is dead. You must have too much money to make certain conclusions about money. As broke as I am, I am 93.27% sure that money will set me on the path toward happiness. Think about things money can do. Point of correction; think about things a lot of money can do. You could be a complete moron and people will still applaud you. In some extreme circumstances, you might even believe them thinking that you are a “person of the people.” However, when election results are announced, you realize that even your close family members pretend to like you. I think that’s the worst way to use your millions. 

It saddens me to think that there are people who still think that money cannot buy love. I do not blame them. Again, this is a rich-people problem, and they should never ever think that we subscribe to such nonsense. It has been proven scientifically that money can actually buy love. According to Dave Barry, a humor scientist who specialized in a branch of science known as ‘making things up,’ money can buy love – it can buy a lot of high-quality fake love. If you can buy fake love, what is the point of buying low-quality? 

Your worldview does not matter. Money makes life a whole lot better and easier. When you have money and you are bored, you could hire a hitman to kill boredom. And that’s not even the best part – the best part is that you can afford a lawyer (for purposes of this article, a lawyer is anyone who can throw a cocktail of big English and Latin words and wears suits). 

There are so many ways to make too much money and quickly. However, most of them are either illegal or scams. I have lived long enough to know this. There is no point in having millions of money and constantly hiding. It is the main reason we elect people with questionable characters to lead. They have been out there doing ‘shady business deals’ and when they cannot hide anymore they offer themselves up for election. It is the surest way to being untouchable and making even more money quite effortlessly. Pablo Escobar tried it but failed. 

I have tried gambling, only to realize, dismayed, that I was contributing diligently to someone else's next luxury toy. A job works the same way. I have also realized that schools indoctrinate people to accept slavery as the perfect way to live. They no longer have to forcefully enslave you - you willingly accept to be a slave, sometimes you even beg them.  

I know that I do not possess the right gene to create something as big as Microsoft or Facebook. I’ll settle for what has already been invented – religion. The last time I checked, no other brand has ever outsold Jesus since the five-day workweek. I plan to start a church, preach, and people will give me money on behalf of Jesus. And the best part of it is that I can keep it. Why, because poverty might just be another sinner they forgot to include in the bible. Living a good life isn't a sin, it is what you do when living a good life that might be sin. Like making others feel poor about themselves.