Not Anymore

I won't hold your hand anymore 

I won't scale mountains 

as I did before 

for I have earned nothing but pains 

I'll watch you trip and fall 

but I won't extend my hand 

I know I won't mean nothing at all

when you get a few grand

I won't jump over a mole hill 

Neither will I cross a puddle 

I won't care how you feel 

for you are nothing but trouble 

I have fixed my eyes on the horizon 

Sadly, I do not catch a glimpse of your picture 

Gladly, I have escaped a prison 

Of fake and pretentious love 

Halfway

Henceforth, I'll meet you halfway
lately it seems you haven't got much to say
and it has always been me
trying to keep the embers burning
trying to keep 'us' going

Lately, you've stopped putting efforts
every conversation seems you are putting a lot
I know it is over between us
I am just counting down to the day
You'll summon the guts and say
It's over between us

In the meantime, I'll do you a favor
I'll meet you halfway
because I know you stopped trying
and my silence will be a formidable excuse

for us to part ways 

Aloofness

She's aloof 

distant like the sky, 

impalpable like the stars

she's aloof 

wandering as if alone, lost 

beckoning help, 

but she knows she needs 

it not 

she's aloof, 

yet beckons at a distance, 

she needs a lighthouse 

for she feels lost 

yet afraid to seek help

You Assumed

 You assumed we had similar dreams 
you assumed they kept both of us awake 
many a night 
You assumed the cold embrace of the night 
or the occasional cuddle from a hired lover 
made me long for you 
I once longed for you every night 
but you pushed me away 

The Hiatus

the king went on a hiatus 

he needed a break from 

all his nagging subjects 

and came back in chains 

came back a slave 

of unrequited affection 

Meaningless Thoughts

these naked thoughts dance 

in my head, 

like strippers on a pole 

offering no meaningful purpose 

except loaf time, 

rob me the ability to think straight 

beguile me, 

keep me trapped in a meaningless 

trance, 

hooked on something 

both heaven and hell 

know do not belong to me 

and never will 

The Unforgiving World

in your still moments, 

you will think deeply about the world, 

it has been cruel and unkind to you 

you think of the burdens 

unfairly heaped on your shoulder 

you fail to recognize the culprit 

who allowed the burdens on your shoulder

and you think the world is unforgiving 

in the grand scheme of thinks, 

you are your real enemy

in an relentlessly unforgiving world 

The Biggest Crime

the biggest crime you 

can ever willing commit 

is giving someone your heart 

all of it, 

with the mistaken belief that 

it will never be broken

it will be broken into a thousand 

pieces 

and you will be forced to 

give the rest of them 

broken pieces of your heart 

and they will break it even further 

Long Silence

the long silence that punctuate 

our conversations recently 

have had me hanging on a thin thread, 

swinging like a pendulum 

between taunting oblivion and eternity 

the memories of the yore 

flicker periodically at a distance 

beckoning my weak limbs to 

take one step - just one step 

a step closer to your embrace

I take hazy and unsteady steps 

swinging between wanting to you, 

and wanting to forget you 

but then I hear your voice 

and the thread snaps on the side 

that has me wanting you - 

the side that I am familiar with 

the side where silence 

reveals the deepest thoughts inside us 

and reveals our deepest secrets 

I remain hopeful that this silence 

will never lose meaning 

for I wouldn't know what to do  

Do Not Forget Yourself

as you freely roam on this earth
curving your own path in
the wilderness, 

as you stray away in search of 
a path to place the world 

tries desperately to hide 

as you search for a path 

that will lead you to your destiny 

a path to happiness 

I beg of you one thing 

do not forget about yourself 

do not forget to search for yourself 

in the blooming flowers, 

in the age-old rocks, 

in the chirping birds 

in the soft blowing breeze, 

in the erotic of embrace of the wild 

because, as we search for meaning 

in our lives, 

we forget ourselves 

and when we find meaning 

we realize too late, 

that we lost ourselves, 

rendering our lifelong wanders 

meaningless 

These Walls

I guess these walls loathe 

my lonesome laments of solitude 

I guess they are tired of dancing 

to disjointed rhythms of my heart 

I guess these walls pretend 

they are blind 

just not see my sorry self sprawled 

on the bed, ruminating days 

when lonesome moments such as these 

existed in fairytales, works fiction 

but these walls have been my unfailing 

companions 

lending a listening hear to the endless 

laments of my heart 

listening but doing nothing, 

only silently acknowledging their 

presence in my life 

Trouble With Success

there is more to success 

than what we see 

no one ever got it right 

on the first try 

even as we are awed 

by the magic of success 

we forget that there was 

a first try

and numerous failures 

along the way 

what we see is a man who 

got up every time he got knocked 

down to try once more 

the trouble with success 

is that it hides immaculately 

what goes on behind the scenes 

and that is the most important 

because there were days heroes 

felt like giving up 

there were days they had no energy 

but still got up and worked on their dreams 

success demands getting up 

even with the most justifiable excuses 

we see the finished products - 

an incredible song, poem, novel 

or work of art 

we see the complete athlete 

and never think of days he trained 

to push himself beyond the possibility of defeat 

Third Round

I have dusted my gloves 

in readiness for the third round 

I got knocked out once

but I rose each and fought again 

I'll watch myself walk 

down the familiar road 

with my heart pounding in 

similar uncanny rhythm

I'll be alone listening 

to the voices in my head 

tell me there might be something 

amiss, or something good 

I know I'll do a good job ignoring 

the negative 

I want to make amends 

although I know I am not 

supposed to 

there is nothing to prove 

except test my resolve once again  

and prepare for heartbreak 

once more 

The Weird Feeling

the stalling and morbidly weird feeling 

that often assails as if something 

great or not 

is about to happen 

and you are stuck, unsure of what to do 

as your mind races around 

a race track, doing crazy things 

except keeping still and letting you 

concentrate on important matters at hand 

The Trouble of Falling In Love

the trouble with falling in love 

is believing you'll never be hurt 

you believe the illusion that your 

love will keep them 

and when everything falls apart 

you will be an empty shell 

trying to hold yourself together 

Lover's Comforting Lie

 How I'd hate in telling you
the lover's comforting lie
that I'll love you just the way
you are
no words ever sounded so good
as if laced with a hypnotizing drug
I'd love you to be more than
what everyone sees
I'd love you to aspire to be a better
person
I'd love you to aspire to something
powerful
I'd love you to reinvent yourself every day
not succumb to an anodyne self
and force me to love you just the way you are
because I will not
and if I do, I'll only pretend 
because I also know 
without a shred of doubt
that somewhere along the road 
love will stop being blind 
and you may see why I was a mistake 

No Lie

I have not heard a bigger lie 

than one perpetuated by 

infatuated lovers 

they say they love each other

just the way they are 

what a bunch of hogwash!! 

I'll not love someone's daughter 

just the way she is - 

man, I gotta have standards 

or bare minimums 

she must have a verifiable source of income 

because it's what I must have - 

but for me it'll probably be just an income 

I'll not tolerate her acting fishy 

fiddling her phone in a suspicious manner 

I have no interest in her phone 

I will never even attempt to check it 

But if she smiles shyly when a notification 

pops up 

or leaves the room when she gets a phone call 

she has to cook 

she has to clean 

and I'll stretch my feet on the sofa 

no lie 

and many other things that I 

may think about later 

strangely, I'll expect her to know them 

I Don't Envy Your Love

looking at you at arms length, 

I thought there was more to you, 

only accessed in secret places, 

like your heart, or a dark place 

then I knew you, and bridged 

that uncertain stretch between

unfamiliarity to friendship 

and we became more than friends 

it was exciting in the beginning, 

well, all relationships begin

with that sinister excitement 

and the hope that it will be alright 

we worked to maintain decorum 

to present ourselves in ways 

that wouldn't have the other 

bolting for the hills 

but then you grew comfortable 

after knowing all my secrets 

imperfections and what not 

you had made it, I guess you thought 

I no longer envy your love 

I do not crave it as much as I used to 

it wasn't even love 

it was a convenient arrangement 

to waste each other's time 

A Battle With Self

when truth and pain merge, 

out emerges a soldier 

worn from a long battle with self 

the invisible scars don't speak 

but mutter amongst themselves 

of the needless adventure 

the soldier suffers from PTSD 

he won the battle with self 

but the war still rages on 

never unending 

Abstract Artiste

I looked at the canvas 

a little longer than it takes an artiste, 

I am no Picasso 

A few scribbles, random lines 

and I declare my work of art complete 

an abstract art 

I have lived far too long, 

with the hope, slowly merging 

with despair, 

that there was an artiste inside me 

ready to conquer the world 

but the artiste never shows up 

he sends emissaries 

with letters of jumbled words 

vainly apologising 

but the letters often seem to dance 

on an unmarked grave