I'll Still Be Me

Do you know how much I have tried 
to 'unme' myself? 

I have always felt, without proof, 

that there was another version of myself, 

an improved version, 

a person so completely different from me 

a successful person, 

But it turns out that person shies away 

from the limelight 

Afraid to step out and be counted among 

heroes 

in all the futility of being me, 

I have given up finding my other self

I am 'me' and I'll still be me 

I'll Be Up Tonight

I'll be up tonight, 
I have already figured out 
the nature of the dream I'll have, 
it will be the same old dream 
that has bothered mankind 
since the beginning of time
where will we go when this 
breathe becomes air? 

I have thought about it 
not once, not twice, 
it bothers me though 
religion has been inadequate 
why would I allow myself to suffer 
so that I can live a good life 
when I die? 

I Am Not Sane

I guess you are wondering 
whether the thoughts, 
that glide and dance in my head, 
are the thoughts of a sane man. 

I harbour the same thoughts too, 
the kind of thoughts that graze 
inside this head - a head that's cost 
you a fortune - 
because they are no thoughts of a 
completely sane man 

I must admit, staying sane 
is a toll task on my part 
I am constantly seeking tunes 
bordering on dirges and love songs 
because it is then that the dinghy 
halls in my mind come alive 

Not All Days Are Alike

Not all days are alike

Some feel like a tortuous hike, 

upon lands with unwelcoming vista

the scenery doesn't fit insta 

there are days and nights 

where nothing goes right 

everything is dull 

suspended, with so much to mull 

there will be happy days 

encountered upon lonely highways 

scarce, and unspeakably lonely 

and a soul yearns to be free 

The Warrior

I look forward to the day 

when I'll wave you from the other side 

of River Cheploch, 

and watch your form gradually fade away 

into the beckoning Tugen Hills, 

into the dark and cold embrace of a 

former bandit 

I'll then haul myself up the Kerio 

escarpment, 

listen to the silent voices of my 

ancestors 

jeering at how stupid I was 

for making myself a disgrace in the clan 

for letting the affections of a woman 

turn my head around 

when I get to my father's backyard

I'll hunch over a laptop and write you a 

poem, 

I'll write that I am gathering my bows 

and arrows 

to prepare myself for battle

to rescue myself from the world, 

from you 

Listen, It Happened

listen, it happened

didn't feel like you were hovering

above earth 

feeling so unlike an ordinary mortal? 

didn't you think it was the best thing 

ever?

but then you tumbled down

like an elephant atop a tree

as you nurse your hurt feelings, 

you wish you'd foreseen the crash

but you know, life has no navigation 

Listen, it happened 

when you find yourself in a destination 

not of your liking

isn't prudent to trace your steps back 

brave the underbrush 

make a way in unbeaten paths, 

brave hunger and thirst 

brace yourself to get lost in the 

makeshift jungle of regrets 

survive internal wars - 

monologues,

and finally, a solemn vow to oneself 

not to be gullible ever again 

listen, it happened, 

there is nothing you can do about it 

gazing at the ruins

long enough won't rebuild you 

stop, the ruins aren't even aesthetic 

it happened, brave the simple decision 

to walk away from your former self 

and be each other's eternal enemies 

Detached

I'll be content loving you at a distance, 

detached from all the 'burdens' 

that walk beside affection, 

for by definition of romance, 

I am as imperfect as imperfect can ever be 

I'll be satisfied with not knowing 

about how your day went 

I am not interested in listening 

to whatever slows you down 

I am almost certain there's nothing I 

can do about them

I'll love you in a completely detached manner 

I crave silence, sometimes, 

I can go for days not wanting to talk to you

or see you, 

or be near you, 

unfortunately, that's not how a lover should love 

I'll not love you right

and there isn't much  I can do about it 

we will not speak the same language of love 

and I'll drive you insane 

because I won't seem like I care about 

I'll want you, but never ever admit I need you