Tuesday 3 September 2019

On Bended Knees


A numbing sensation has taken over my mind
It feels like the onset of insanity, for I
have been insane a thousand times over
yet this, this bout of insanity, I haven’t experienced before

and I peer intently in the distant horizon,
with the intensity of a researcher looking at a specimen
yet the specimen, my specimen, is completely blank.
an abyss of sorts. And this is how insanity begins

I am on bended knees, begging for mercy
Yet I do not the sins I have committed – only the ones
I have been meaning to for years now
Their haunting is not even clear to me now

Pass me a bottle of medicine – not the usual
The doctor has since declared I am not drinking enough,
The highs I seek are now depths
And I, a man if intellect, becomes spectacularly stupid

Little Things


Life’s littered with little things
Many of which have turned kings
Into miserable and wearisome subjects
Piling precious lives among earthly rejects

How one tiny comment perches
Invisibly and is warmed until it hatches
And a brood of ‘not enough’ is raised
Diligently until the heart is dumb when praised

A tiny patch or stain grieves to no end
It becomes so hard to even pretend
And discomfort is nurtured, manicured
Until nothing is achieved, only a soul troubled

How bodily imperfections are readily rectified
Even when some results leave others undignified,
Of not death, or even more uglier than before
Yet we are in the image of God, biblical evidence show

Life’s little things cripple thousands
For they are multiplied like the sands
One walks with evidence of its existence
Until one settles of unsavory six pence

The Lost Ball


“Who lost a ball?” Mr. Wambongo asked after greetings which often followed an unimpeachable protocol involving us shooting up and saying ‘welcome to our class.’ Mr. Wambongo had a queer way about himself. He strolled around the school compound with his hands behind his back. He would crack a joke or two with you, a joke you never forgot. One such joke was the reason soldiers are required to to be physically fit. He demonstrated it using the one metre ruler, where he mimicked a limping soldier walking in combat with the ruler as a gun. The other joke was how he used to refer Maji Maji rebellion leader, Kinjeketile Ngwale. He pronounced Kinjeketile by ‘Englishizing‘ ‘tile’ which sounded as Kinjeketyle. One day he dressed down Mike for pronouncing it as he often joked about. I remember the stern look on his face as he said ‘kijana una mzaha.’

What struck me about Mr. Wambongo was that he was never pretentious. He punished you and you didn’t keep it in your heart or mind. Almost certainly, you deserved the punishment. But not that Sunday afternoon, after we had just had a helping of rice and beans in its usual minute ration. Kapserere food couldn’t even sustain a rat for a week. It’s a miracle we survived there.

Food aside, Mr. Wambongo strolled to class that day with one intention – to make me in particular never forget him. I admit he was a good teacher. I was a little gutted when he left unceremoniously. He had asked about anyone who had lost a ball in an unusual drawl. It still rings in my head as I write this. Dickson, discounting the fact that his name has a dick in it, shot his hand up. It’s like he had missed raising his hand up, considering the fact that, academically, Dickson and I never missed a flogging.  

We did not know where the conversation was leading to as Mr. Wambongo expertly guided it as though it were boat on a treacherous part of the river. I do not know how it led to who was playing in class, but it suddenly turned to a football team being named. Dickson by the way didn’t even know how to kick a ball, at least in the proper way. The captain was named, who in turned named the next person, and it went like that until I was named. Victor Kiptum named me. That’s what I remember very clearly. In fact I can even see him turning, as if seeking my approval and then spitting out my name. Because I had never learnt how to snitch, I calmly told Mr. Wambongo that the team was complete. It had Radovan Kimutai, Victor Kiptum, Kelvin Kipkoech and I, Brian Rop. We may have been more than four, details escape me now. It not being an exam, I can confidently say that we were four.

It turns out we were wanted in connection with broken spectacles. We were then taken to Mr. Wambongo’s office upon which our names were entered in the infamous black book. Infidels. Degenerates. Contemptible junkies. An afternoon that had promised to glide past like it has done for ages was suddenly covered with an ominous gloom. A novel that one had promised himself to tackle suddenly had to wait there, naked as we attended urgent disciplinary matter which we completely had no clue about.

I do not remember whether Mr. Wambongo gave us a beating but I damn well remember that we were given a punishment to wash the classroom. We were in class seven at the time, and forming the bulk of the team during our usual match between class seven and eight, it might not surprise me, had opta started taking stats, that it was the day we got walloped. You know, like the 8 – 2 drabbing Man U gave the ever lowly, under talented Arsenal.

We took our punishment without complains. We scrubbed the class clean within twenty minutes and with very little amount of water. Then we casually walked out and crossed the road by ourselves –which was a mistake punishable by death. No pupil was required to cross the Eldoret-Ravine road alone, you had to be supervised. Again, quite casually, we changed and hit the field like the players we were.

It turns out, as we mused, that we had been used to sanitise someone’s negligence. Her name was Sandra. She had broken her glasses or even lost them, and there was no way she could break the news to her parents without risking third degree burns from her parent’s ire. There had been talks that we’d even buy the goddamn spectacles. To the extent of my knowledge I do not know whether our parents were informed.

As we mused, quite bitter at the injustice, there was absolutely no way a ball, kicked as it was supposed to, suddenly developed a brain that told to go, open Sandra’s desk, break her spectacles and calmly fall down like nothing has happened. Our bitterness would have frozen a loaf bread. We completely had no clue about those spectacles.  We were victimized, period. Because we were children of lesser god’s, at the time.

Right now I am not bitter. Given Sandra’s position, I do not know how I would have broken the news to my parents. Man, my eyesight would have fixed itself. As they say, sometimes, the end justifies the means. I hope it did, Sandra.

Thursday 29 August 2019

A Cold Day in Hell

A cold day in hell
Sinners of love are having a swell
of a time. Thanks to tears
That broke dams behind their eyes
And extinguished hell's raging fire
All that's needed is whiskey. And nice thighs

Thursday 22 August 2019

Can't Get Enough


Your hands are fitted with magic feathers
Awakening every single nerve in me
As you trace sensual shapes on my body
Everything becomes alive inside me
All I want is more and more of this
As long as my breathe allows me
I won’t get enough of you,
Of your hands,
Of your lips
Of your breathe
Of your breast

As long as this breathe lives within me
I will not get enough or tire, of your being

Questions


From where, deep inside your body,
 do you manufacture this sweetness?

Why does your kiss taste,
Like a fountain of life?

What is it that you emit from your eyes,
that I must get enthralled and drawn to you?

Why must I look like a crazed person,
whenever you are around me?

Why does time fly away,
When there’s so much of your laughter around?

Why can’t I put you smile in my pocket,
So that I can secretly fondle it in a meeting? Or matatu?

Why must I always fill inadequately whole,
Whenever you are away from me?

What sort of drug is hidden in your beauty,
That I must feel intoxicated every time I see you?

Moments Like This


Trapped in your embrace
There’s no other place
I’d rather be, not even heaven
You are my religion – I’m no heathen

Locked in your kiss
There’s nothing I’d miss
My world becomes alive
In you I want to live

The nights stand still
The stars watch us steal
Hours and hoard in our nudity
And replace it with eternity

Moments with you
All year through
Are never replaceable
I’ll love you forever – trust me - I’m able