Thursday, 16 March 2023

Third Round

I have dusted my gloves 
in readiness for the third round 
I got knocked out once
but I rose each and fought again 

I'll watch myself walk 
down the familiar road 
with my heart pounding in 
similar uncanny rhythm

I'll be alone listening 
to the voices in my head 
tell me there might be something 
amiss, or something good 
I know I'll do a good job ignoring 
the negative 

I want to make amends 
although I know I am not 
supposed to 
there is nothing to prove 
except test my resolve once again  
and prepare for heartbreak 
once more 

Wednesday, 15 March 2023

The Weird Feeling

the stalling and morbidly weird feeling 
that often assails as if something 
great or not 
is about to happen 
and you are stuck, unsure of what to do 
as your mind races around 
a race track, doing crazy things 
except keeping still and letting you 
concentrate on important matters at hand 

Monday, 13 March 2023

The Trouble of Falling In Love

the trouble with falling in love 
is believing you'll never be hurt 
you believe the illusion that your 
love will keep them 
and when everything falls apart 
you will be an empty shell 
trying to hold yourself together 

Dear Reader

Hello, 
I hope you are doing good. 
I would like to let you know that you 
are the only reader who ever checks on 
this blog. It would be nice if you once left
a comment or your footprint. 

I do not know you but I hope to make you 
an acquaintance if we have never met already 
outside this platform. Get in touch of you can. 

Cheers.  

Sunday, 12 March 2023

Lover's Comforting Lie

 How I'd hate in telling you
the lover's comforting lie
that I'll love you just the way
you are
no words ever sounded so good
as if laced with a hypnotizing drug
I'd love you to be more than
what everyone sees
I'd love you to aspire to be a better
person
I'd love you to aspire to something
powerful
I'd love you to reinvent yourself every day
not succumb to an anodyne self
and force me to love you just the way you are
because I will not
and if I do, I'll only pretend 
because I also know 
without a shred of doubt
that somewhere along the road 
love will stop being blind 
and you may see why I was a mistake 

An Ode To Ugali

I love ugali. Admittedly, I was 'forced' to love it, more like an arranged marriage, except the absence of options. An arranged marriage is worse when there are options. When there aren't, you will grudgingly learn to love whoever was chosen for you, because - get ready for the groundbreaking revelation - you have no OPTION. In a nutshell, that's how I began a lifelong affair with ugali.

We ate ugali for breakfast, ate it for lunch, and ate it for supper. It wasn't a big deal. We did not know that something else existed apart from ugali or its related variations such as porridge and mkarango. If it was possible, we'd eat ugali accompanied by ugali.

I learnt the other day why it was impossible. I haven't looked at it the same again. A few foreigners were asked to rate ugali and they came with one unanimous conclusion - it is very TASTELESS. I have interacted with ugali all my life and I had never thought of it as tasteless.

It forced me to reminisce my primary school days. For those who went to boarding school, I know they understand the kind of torture we went through. Most of it revolved around food. Our experience (or at the very least most of us) at the fabled KHA were tough. I can legitimately blame it in all my addictions.

Nothing ever came close to the trauma we experienced in boarding. We were fed with just enough food to keep us alive and endure a few strokes of cane from time to time, especially for people like me whose IQs then competed favourably with donkey hooves.

I remember how I'd wait anxiously for the bell to ring for meals. Immediately after meals, I'd begin the anxious wait for the next meal. If anything KHA's food did not fill up your stomach. It made you hungrier.

It turns out that the go-to meal was ugali. The sight of large ugali was probably arousing at the time. We had developed a secret and strict code of eating it. We'd begin with veges using the scorched earth policy. You'd never see a trace of anything remotely related to the badly cooked cabbages or sukuma wiki.

I remember one female teacher chanced upon this sinister ugali-eating protocol. She pitied one boy who got a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have his plate replenished with the badly cooked mbogas which was a delicacy by the way. It had to be - we had no choice.

However, when the female teacher looked around, she realised that all boys did not have vegetables on their plate. She might have thought there was an anomaly somewhere or the cooks deliberately denied boys veges. We must have laughed because she did not know out secret code.

At the time, ugali was not tasteless. We loved it the way it was. As far as we were concerned, ugali was blameless and upright. We even began trading ugali for bread. It was simple, you gave another person ugali and the other person would repay you with bread.

I loved ugali so much that I often traded it for my bread. The bread wasn't that big either. It was an eighth. But both commodities had equal value. Half for half, full for full. When I talk about equal value, I do not mean the entire loaf, but just the eighth.

Since I wasn't big on bread, my memories are slightly skewed towards ugali. There was something controversial about those who loved bread during our time at KHA.

Now, it has been revealed that ugali is tasteless. One person even likened to wet cement. However, it won't break our tight relationship, which is strengthened more by KHA memories.

Although I do not look at ugali the same way, the love for it will forever remain

  

No Lie

I have not heard a bigger lie 
than one perpetuated by 
infatuated lovers 
they say they love each other
just the way they are 
what a bunch of hogwash!! 

I'll not love someone's daughter 
just the way she is - 
man, I gotta have standards 
or bare minimums 
she must have a verifiable source of income 
because it's what I must have - 
but for me it'll probably be just an income 

I'll not tolerate her acting fishy 
fiddling her phone in a suspicious manner 
I have no interest in her phone 
I will never even attempt to check it 
But if she smiles shyly when a notification 
pops up 
or leaves the room when she gets a phone call 

she has to cook 
she has to clean 
and I'll stretch my feet on the sofa 
no lie 
and many other things that I 
may think about later 
strangely, I'll expect her to know them