It Could Be Better, But Doesn't Matter Anymore

it hits you, 

sometimes hard, other times mild, 

other times like a never ending torrent of hailstorms 

it's even harder to accept because

you been there before, 

and each time you promised yourself 

it could be better. 

or there was a better way, 

you are better than this!!! You bang your head against the wall 

But you've been here a thousand times, 

there seems to be no way out except the murky 

waters 

of resignation, 

Going with the flow, 

If the tides are good, then you are good

If the storms get you, then even better 

But you are better at not getting better 

it pains you not 

when you are hurtling down the road 

of bad decisions, 

because, because 

you can afford it. 

It could be better, 

It could be worse, 

It does not matter anymore