Then You Came To An End

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The scene is still vivid in your mind, like a giant screen covering the entire sky. There are only two of you in the world, and every single feature blooms as you eyes fall on them. You are talking and you are concentrating on the words rolling out of her mouth as though it is a mill of sweetness. Her voice cancels out every other noise within a radius of a kilometer.

There you are, the two of you, crossing the railway to you spot under the eucalyptus tree. It is the place where time moves so fast, even though you desire it frozen. Her breathe beside you seem to beckon a thousand forevers, and you think, ‘some people search the world for moments like this…’

She buys roasted maize by the roadside and brings it wrapped in green. It is peppered. You’d never tasted peppered roasted maize before but you do not acknowledge lest she laughs at you…not that you don’t like her laughing…you are already trying to figure out how to wrap her laughter, like the roasted maize, and put it in your pocket so that you can secretly fondle in matatus that callously take you away from her.

Memories piled. Songs you loved to listen to piled up. Every single thought of her love, her touch, her kiss filled up your world. Did you ever think of endings. No. you were already wrapped up in warm blanket called ‘happy ending.’ And even if we break up, your mind bragged, it will mean little to me. Life will go on.

Then you came to an end. One fine morning she texts. She texts that unwanted message akin to a doctor announcing the number of days you have to live. ‘You will be lucky to live beyond six months.’

She says she was leaving. No. she says she’s getting married. The world crumbles underneath your feet. The air you breathe becomes polluted, and it feels like its choking you rather than nourishing you. You are hurt by the words. You are hurt by your utter powerlessness to stop her.

The dreaded moment was finally there, staring at you in the face like a bully. She’s gone, it said. Gone to light another world the way she did to yours. She’s leaving yours as dark as a cave. And desolate, waiting for God's voice to speak features into it. For God to speak that let her be there, even if it would take a deep sleep. 

And then you came to an end, you wondering what you did wrong. You never cheated, you were there when it was convenient for both of you, you gave her everything you had, and a little more… then you got stuck in your own darkness, for there was no better of way of loving except that which she chose to walk away from.