Monday 21 September 2020

Beautiful Phrases

 The words were there, 

Beautiful phrases that even Shakespeare, 

Despite having been dead for so long, 

Would have marveled at my ingenuity, 

Shake his head, and declare forlornly

"I wouldnt have thought of these lines, 

even if I had lived this long." 

But then the words are not there anymore 

They will come in drips some other time

Like a faulty tap, 

And me, desiring a quick full tank, 

Will go elsewhere to look for other less beautiful words 

But beautiful nonetheless, because they'll gush

Friday 18 September 2020

The Wandering Man

 The wandering man wonders -

Wonders the thoughts of a money-mad man 

Thinking, always thinking - and never doing 

What will your thoughts amount to?

Except the frustration 

of having done very little for the thoughts

And desolation, 

Because your wanders in distant lands 

bore nothing

But if you count other things 

it could include diseases such as cirrhosis 

 

 

Wednesday 9 September 2020

The Meticulous Drunkard

 At exactly two in the night, Onjivo swaggered into Club Datura. For those who have been to Datura, one thing is certain – it exclusively for people who do not give a damn about aesthetics. For one, there are concrete pillars that someone stopped halfway, as an afterthought, while in the process of destroying it. It leaks when it rains. It is not a place where you would gladly have fun destroying your liver or lungs or even libido. Onjivo did not care about having fun, neither the aesthetics. He was in for business.

Even with the absence of aesthetics, Onjivo still manages to be meticulous. Despite the cold that seeped straight to the bones, Onjivo wore only a basketball vest, and a Chicago Bulls cap. He sat on a Guinness branded plastic chair, and near a socket. Nobody knows that a socket is there, for it looks as though you could be risking electric shock what with the wires all naked and hanging. Once seated, he dives his hands into an orange reusable bag and retrieves a tissue paper. It is weird for a man but Onjivo is a man who is meticulous about everything. With a gloomy yet serious face, he gingerly wipes the table, but only the area he projects to use.

Once done with the cleaning, Onjivo dives again into his orange bag and retrieves three smart phones from the entrails. He also removes a charge, plugs it into the dangerously dangling socket and turns it on. A blue light emitted by the socket bathes a few centimetres of his table. Then he plugs USB cables into the various orifices that came with the charger. Meticulously, he charges each of his three phones. All this while, cigarette is dangling on the corner of his mouth. He stops, takes a deep puff, and places it on the table.

A recently hired waiter walks to him and greets him jovially. She knows him which means that Onjivo is regular at the club, which is not typically a club. The first moving drinks here are the cheap third generation liquor and keg popular with boda boda guys and casual laborers. For the latter, however, you would be hard pressed to understand what casual thing they do at night. Onjivo is not a casual laborer, neither is he a boda boda guy. He orders two Guinness bottles and settles on his chair like a boss.

With the cigarette dangling at the corner of his mouth, he again dives into the orange bag and takes out a jelly. He scoops a huge chunk of it and proceeds to oil himself. It is for mosquitoes; he says to an inquisitive patron who has just come to sit next him.

The plump waiter brings him his beers. At this point, he is checking his merchandise, jaba. The waiter marvels at how much they are. She is intrigued by him, or by his money. Before long, customers go to him, one by one. Onjivo measures them and puts them in a tiny plastic bag. They part with their money and take their leaves, perhaps to chew cud.

Heaps of Me!

There are a thousand heaps of me 

Neatly stacked, one on top of the other 

And the weight? - o, its hard not to bother 

Each day the world is too much of me 


There are a thousand layers making me 

To know me, you need to unfold all 

But what you will achieve will be dismal

Each layer is so thick, you will see 


There are a thousand dreams within me 

Each yearning to be lived at the same time 

They all ring like a thousand bells that chyme 

Each waking second feels like a stormy sea 


What's there to live when I am mere heap?

Of bones and flesh stacked together 

Of grating dreams that are a great bother 

Making it so hard to have a moment of sleep


Tuesday 8 September 2020

When The Rain Stops

When the rains stops raining 

And you finally feel the sun shining 

Enjoy the the scene 

Toss everything into the bin 

All the extra baggage 

And let you skin bask in the sun's glory 



Dawn!

 Whatever the case, 

Dawn all announce its arrival, 

Never too late, and never early 

Yet its punctuality shall not be welcome, 

At least not today, 

For there are many things that need hidden 

Under the blanket of darkness 

But, dawn - the ever insolent dawn, 

Shall walk in without an iota of shame 

Stacking itself among many unwanted dawns 

As if it shall stand out - it thinks it is the only dawn 

That was thought of yesterday as tomorrow 

It is in for a rude shock 

It will cry in the toilet of history, 

Broken hearted, because it was rejected before it arrived 

Like an aborted fetus 

Dumped, and never to fulfill its dreams 

It had no dreams 



Metric Disconnect

 It was an incident that, thinking more about it now, would be the hallmark of tremendous disconnect between the education system and reality. I had been sent to buy nails, and as you know, nails – just like certain influential male organs – come in inches. Not millimeters. And certainly not centimeters. That would be grossly demeaning to nails and the organ, who may write nasty comments if you do so.

I was in high school at the time (and on holiday) and seeing that I didn’t have much to do except loaf time, it was deemed that I was fit to run the small errand to Flax Centre to purchase nails. There was a little construction project going on, and as constructions are wont, certain materials suddenly become sparse or are suddenly needed.

“Three inches,” they said even though I had heard the fundi say it. I hauled my juvenile self, neither with ambitions nor hurry. It seemed a minor inconvenience, but the prospect of keeping change acted as the only motivator. Also, the project had stalled because of the slight. The nails were needed in a hurry.

After three kilometres (where did those who use miles learn it from? Movies?) of walking, I was at the hardware. I asked for a kilo of three inch nails. The attendant weighed them, handed them to me, I paid and began the long walk back home. Even if they were not needed that day, I still would have gone back regardless, because there were no suave ways of idling back them. There were, but I was not good at them.

I got home and delivered them to the fundis. One quickly rummaged through and announced grimly, ‘it’s a girl.’ Just kidding. He said that I got the wrong nails…not the wrong nails actually – it’s not that there are yellow nails or nails za kienyeji – but the wrong inches. The inches were nearly double than they ones they wanted.

I think that must have been the only time I felt good when one of them acknowledged our ignorance in a way that detached responsibility from my actions. “These young people do not know anything,” they said as though distinguishing three and five inches required the same intellectual depth as neurosurgery. As far as they fundis were concerned my knowledge of important things such as inches competed favourably with mucus.

Even then, I was perfectly willing to correct the anomaly by trekking back three kilometres. However, the fundis showed tremendous fortitude by improvising. They were in a hurry to get the project done, hit a drinking den, and probably brag about how people like me were clueless about inches.

“I thought he was intelligent, but he brought six inches instead of three,” one will say amid an uproar of laughter.

“How can one not distinguish between an inch and two inches?” a fellow drunkard, well versed with matters inches, will as ask.

I am not ashamed to say that they answer to that question is me, and I have plenty of reasons to back it up. We never learnt about inches in primary school. I have no memory attached to inches back in primary. This is special because I spent most of my last years in primary school pensive and a nervous wreck converting milimetres to centimetres and to metres. And vice versa. At no point in my life did inches feature. I do not remember being whacked because I could not correctly convert from inches to any of those aforementioned metric terms.

Even then, if the guy who had sold me the nails knew what inches were, he could have given me the correct ones. I guess he was as clueless as me. Either that or he was desperate to make a sale. It is not really a one man’s blame. It is two.

If you think like I do, then you must be wondering why what is taught in school cannot be applied in real life. Even metric system yawa. You can excuse learning about the hypotenuse or trapezium, but not something as vital and life-giving – if you get my drift - as inches. Another stupid one is foot. I haven’t got the hang of it.  and miles too.

Every time someone uses metric terms I did not learn in school I feel like smacking them in the face to atone for the beatings I endured back in school. Trust me, there is nothing as torturous as the thought that all your years of schooling were up to nothing. It is even much worse if you spent a few years getting so scared of being wrong – a small wrong would earn you an unforgettable beating. It does not do justice to the moments spent tucking your hands between your legs, trembling and your teeth clattering every time you were in class. All that and you were not taught about inches?!!? Gerrarahia!!