Numb

 don't you wish, on some occasions, 

that you would numb to all the voices

that silently scream in your head?

don't you wish you would numb 

the hopelessness that often grip you

on occasions you need extra strength?

 

don't you wish you would numb 

the overwhelming guilt 

that trips you when you make that step, 

the most important step?

 

don't you wish you could numb 

the paralysing fears and worries 

that exist in your head?

 

the chariots that you would ride, 

only need one word: numb

being numb to all the insignificant things 

that bog you down. 

Regrets

 regrets

grate the dreamless nights, 

the cool breeze turn into a 

spellbinding tornado, 

of a thousand 'should-have-dones'

millions should-have-nots, should-have-beens 

should-have-knowns, 

and when the tornado eases, 

you are just an empty shell, 

seeking solace among mortals

puzzled that they are still alive, 

almost against their will.

Small Wins

Small wins, 

as inconsequential as they seem, 

feels like fuel to an empty car, 

a few drops will get the car a few inches ahead 

and a few inches closer to the destination

celebrate them 

 

The Dreamer

 in the dark crevices of his mind

lies grandiose dreams, 

dreams as big as the universe

dreams as vast as space

as lays awake, the dreamer in him 

convulses with delight 

at the mere thought of glittering success

that would drive many mad with envy 

the dreams are like opium to him

he seeks them everyday, 

yet does very little to bring them to fruition 

 

Tommorow

there are days we never long for 

days that remind us of our existence

when all we want is forget how to breathe

but how do you even do that?

breathing, barring medical conditions, 

comes naturally to us 

call it default setting

except because tomorrow is another day 

that reminds us of failures both by 

commission and omission,

the wrongs things we did and the rights things we 

did not do 

of the wrong people we loved,

and the right people we neglected,

of the dreams yearn to live 

and the reality we are in 

as we breathe, we are constantly reminded that life 

does not make too much sense,

and we don't either 

Transcendence

Sometimes what goes on in our minds makes the world seem like a convoluted maze, dark and filled with eerie sounds. It should be better, we think. It should be, except it isn't. Because life never follows a script. We do create scripts right inside our heads, consciously or subconsciously. And when it does not go to plan, the world turns dark soon after sunrise. And we long for ephemeral things that will transcend our deep-seated worries. We binge watch movies, binge eat, and for some, binge on alcohol. 

It could be better. But its so much worse than we envisioned. Yet somehow, it seems the situation is out of control. It seems that our guardian angels have taken a nap, or threw in the towel concerning our cherished dreams. We  want to blame someone for the decisions we made. The truth is that it is far much easier to blame someone or anything to make the sorry situation seem a little better. We are us. Things like this should not be happening to us. But the reality is that it is happening. And it seems that it is out of control. 

Give Me Bread

give me a loaf of bread 

before I drop dead 

so that you can come 

and bestow upon my soul virtues I never had 

say you truly love me 

before we become 'used to be'

and you turn into a philosopher 

waxing cliches 

like you don't know what you have till its gone 

life is a lot like a novel 

lots of plots twists before the shovel 

lots of characters, aiding or derailing the script 

and sometimes the confusion between the real and ideal 

makes life unbearable  

you fall into hard times 

that make you long for those nursery rhymes 

because the meaning of adulthood gets lost

and you wonder why you were 

so much in a hurry to grow up 

they say life is unfair 

because it is supposed to be 

they say diamonds take a beating 

to become the 'it' thing

but you are no diamond and hard is not your portion