Tuesday, 3 December 2019

The Sacred Toad


I had – I still do – certain reverence for toads that bordered on superstition or plain fear for certain actions that appeared like rituals. You see, every time a toad wandered into the kitchen, mother would sprinkle a little flour on it and leave it where it was, not even trying as much as ‘chase’ it away. It had a name – Tala Kogo. This act that appeared quite random scared the shit out of me, so much that as a kid who loved killing small animals for fun, Tala Kogo was completely left to live.

It wasn’t until a few days ago that I accidentally killed one of these ‘sacred’ amphibians. It was not my fault for I was out and about cutting napier grass for the cows when I slashed the creature with a razor sharp panga. All its intestines spilled out which led me, from years of experience, that it was beyond being rescued. I left it there, wondering whether it had relatives that loved it who would then say nice words such as ‘she was hardworking and loving…it is a pity that we lost her to the cruelty of humans…’ and then inter her.

As I continued cutting the grass, which I think is an equivalent of chapatti to cows, I encountered small accidents. A bruise here and there, which bled as though I had ruptured a vein. I thought the creature must have actually been a little sacred, what with the sprinkling of flour.

Speaking of sacred, I nearly chopped off my left hand’s middle finger. Not the entire finger but the nail itself. It was a Sunday. We were cutting boma rods – I with a borrowed sickle. A cousin of mine was playing gospel music on his techno phone to make up for the fact that he was supposed to be in church being concerned with his spiritual needs and not cutting grass. A while back – it’s decades actually – we decided that it was totally uncool for us to go to church. 

Although we do not go to church, Sundays are exclusively set aside for relaxation. It is a day where each one of retreats to their sanctuaries, ask this or that from their personal gods. As we cut the grass, the music emanating from the cousin’s phone kind of became a detractor to the stream of thoughts my mind churned. As I wondered why the guy played the music, I lost concentration and the sickle cleanly chopped off my entire nail, leaving a tiny bit near the base. There’s nothing as painful as chopping off your nail with anything serrated. Of course it is second to knock on the testicles, but I reserve pain rating to another time. I rushed home holding my finger to prevent leaving a trail of blood on the way.

I washed it with salt solution but it still bled. I tried everything, including brake fluid to no avail. I tore a piece of cloth from a worn out t-shirt and wrapped it. It stopped bleeding, leading me to think that I had at last arrested the bleeding. That night, a slept while flipping a middle finger at mosquitoes and other nocturnal creatures that bayed for my blood.

The following day, I woke up as usual, except with the knowledge that I was excluded from any activity that involved the use of both hands. If eating was such an activity, I definitely would have starved for I can’t fathom being fed like a baby. As I took tea, accompanied by a distinct whistling sound, my body grew warmer and the bloody finger began bleeding again. I had lost a lot of blood the previous day to a point that I actually got scared. I remember feeling a little dizzy following the loss.

It was then that I was forced to make a drastic decision – go to the hospital. I couldn’t stand losing any more blood. And I left immediately after breakfast, glad that the finger absolved me the strenuous exercise of deciding whether to take a shower or not. In less than an hour, I was the Flax Dispensary, waiting for my turn to be treated. There were many sick people, including children who were being taken for immunization against the various diseases I care not remember. Some wailed ceaselessly, while mothers wore worried looks on their faces. Some adults were sprawled on the grass, as though their only available option was death.

I neglected the part where I bought a card. It costs twenty shillings and I wonder if that is legal. I have been to one dispensary in Nairobi where the card is given to you free of charge. Patients buy it unquestioningly. It is part of the treatment process, and they have accepted it that way.

When my name was called, a nurse attended to me. She asked me what caused the wound and I told her it was a ‘ringa.’ I don’t know if she understood it or she just felt that it was wise to ignore it. She took out the container containing iodine whereupon she realized that it was empty. She then shouted to another doctor, talking about whether the supplies have been ordered. The doctor – I don’t know why a male attendant is referred to as a doctor – assured her that they were on their way. She leaves the room in search for a medicine which would enable her to administer a tetanus jab on my person. I use her absence to scan the room for any evidence of serial killers. Haha. Actually, I just looked around the room to see the medical marvels that either occur in the room or information that might be of particular interest to me. What captures my attention is a hand drawn bar graph showing the number of people under anti-retroviral drugs. Finally glad to put into good use the numerous bar graphs I drew back in school, I read the number of people under the drug. The highest bar read thirty on a certain month. I remember thinking that the number was too high then the nurse came in.
She asked me to remove my shirt for her to administer the jab. She was cute, alright, but in a motherly way. I obliged. You see, I work out from time to time, and so my biceps are little hard. She asks me to relax my muscles but I couldn’t. I do not fear injections. I only fear certain species of reptiles such as snakes and slayqueens. Otherwise, injections do not faze me.

I forget. She had already dressed the wound. After the tetanus jab, I left for home. I did not even want to linger around the shopping centre for while – or until darkness set in. The throbbing pain would not allow me.

Monday, 2 December 2019

Wounded Ground


Bury my feet on a wounded ground
Water them with your tears
And love that you hoard
In secret places between vanity
And a distinct fear of mortality

A Clog In The Mind


A thin film clings to the mind,
Marking the boundaries
Between the possible and the impossible
Between the sane and the insane
Between hate and love
Between self-love and self-loathe
Between the grand and the stupid
Between life and death
Between courage and cowardice
And, strangely, I find myself standing
On the negative side

Life is Scum


Life is a giant wad of scum ,
Trapped are we, consuming it,
Bit by bit, it gets bitter,
With bills and pills and feels,
That cater to every whimsical need,
Or wants
Or a way of escaping the ugly reality,
The reality that we are trapped,
Under this giant dome,
And to escape, one must stop breathing

Vessels of Debauchery

Life pours out of itself,
A rich and potent state
Availing the alluring things,
The pleasures that ruin

What choice do we have?
For we are only mere mortals,
Vessels of debauchery,
Of flesh and adulterated water

Do not speak of seekers,
The seekers of pleasure,
As ruined  beings,
Who lost control their ships

The sky is a giant blue mesh
With bars that cage dreams
Dreams to burst through
In search for elusive redemption

Sunday, 13 October 2019

No Human Is Limited


The clock bowed in awe of your endurance
Cowed by you indefatigable will,
A will that powered you Kalenjin feet,
Feet oiled by well-made mursik
Mursik made in the same exact formula of the yore
A formula that inspired ‘No Human is Limited’

You etched your name in the annals of history
Right next to Neil  Armstrong, the Wright Brothers
You could shame Isaac Newton if you wanted to,
You can fly with your feet to break barriers,
Barriers set in the mind

Kipchoge, you’ve inspired mankind
Kipchoge, you are the god of marathon,
Never let Mo Farah ever get close to your achievements
We will be in awe of your greatness for a long time,
We are glad to have been alive to witness your extraordinary feet
And your feat

Sunday, 6 October 2019

I Miss You


The very thought of you, slipping into bed
Beside me, smelling like a bottle of cologne
Ignites feelings of longing, a deep longing
A longing that digs pits of emptiness, voids
Within me, that can only be filled with your love
With a touch of your tickling hands,
A caress from your feathery hands
A kiss from your honey dipped lips
I miss you.

The void grows bigger by the second
Each tick is riddled with an oppressive sound
And, waiting for you, my love, becomes a hard task
As hard as landing a faulty air plane
I am crushing, I am alone bearing my solitude
As if it were a pain, a wound of sorts
Only you can heal me, only you
No one else knows the depths of my love
Only you. I miss you