Tuesday 16 May 2023

The Real Church

 It has been a sacred ambition of mine to start a church. The thought that I wouldn't find irrevocably gullible and easy-to-convince followers has held me back.


In light of the recent events - Shakahola and what not - I think I might have been held back by something miniscule. Small. Minute.

The truth is, I do not want go to heaven. I would find it hard to convince people to go to a place I have no intention of going.

And this begs the question: how do you believe someone who tells you to starve so that you can go to heaven yet they themselves partake 7 meals a single day?

Well, for me, even when I have taken six cups of keg, I will ask the simple question;

"Sir, with all due respect, I'd like you to starve here with me."

Same with that religion that encourages people to blow themselves into a million tiny pieces for them to acquire 70 virgins. I'd say, respectfully:

"Sir, I'd like my virgins brought to me before I exit this world."

Or,

"Sir, if these virgins truly exist in the next world, what the hell are you still doing here? Show some leadership and go first."

Even if heaven is such a beautiful place, I wouldn't want to suffer to go get there. I do not think Jesus wanted it that way.

My church would solely be based on making the here-and-now a kind of heaven. Your dead self will deal with what will happen when the time comes.

I would focus on ensuring that my followers live happy lives, can easily fulfill their needs (food, shelter, clothing, na wapige sherehe kila siku if possible) and be kind to one another.

The motto of my church would be "Be wary of the overly religious, there are more skeletons on their closets than will ever be exhumed in Shakahola."

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