Monday, 29 May 2023

The Songs

the songs that you both loved listening to,
echo in a distant with haunting clarity 
and the chaos that you once embraced 
becomes entangled with reality, 
muddying it, destroying all illusions 
and creates storms that you never, 
in a million years, anticipated, 
you become limp 
unaware, 
unsure, 
of what to do 

You Will Get Used To It

one day, just one day, 
you will get used to the cold embrace 
of loneliness 
you will cherish how numb you are 
when you think of them, 
how they hurt you 
how they took you for granted 
how they often forgot you are human 
 - a feeling human 
one day you will unfurl all the memories 
and scatter them like chaff 
and watch them disappear 
and feel nothing about it 
one day you will get used to not 
missing them 
and on that day, you will live as 
though they never existed 
and you will be free 
alone, but free 

The World

the world is a fiery ball of madness 
dizzyingly spinning in its orbit 
churning, relentlessly, days and nights 
some that happen, and plenty that don't 

the world is a fitting arena 
for both the wise and fools alike 
each dances to their tunes 
and leave their own distinct legacies 
when breath becomes air 

the world offers an equal chance 
it has always been fair like that 
but it never guarantees equal outcomes 
for none deserves more than they should 
none more than they are willing to give 

 

The Insane Man

there are no doubts about his insanity 
it doesn't even require a psychologist's intervention 
for no man has ever been apt 
to find excuses 
and where to lay blame 
for his impeccable inability 
to chase his dreams 
and, so, he does his things 
the old-versioned way
expecting different results 

Thursday, 25 May 2023

Odd Humans

It’s approaching seven in the evening. You are taking a walk to clear your head. You could use some form of unfamiliarity. You take an unfamiliar street. Amid the hustle and bustle, it is difficult to mind your own business. Children shriek and hurl vulgar (adult-rated) insults at one another. You mutter watoto wa siukuizi under your breath, because you are now too old.

Then you spot an oddity, a peculiar sight. You know what that sight means – it means the grim reaper visited a family. How do you know it? The bereaved family takes out a speaker, plays some sombre gospel songs, and places the picture of the deceased close by. The family wants you to know that death has visited them, and that they may (or may not, that’s the way things are done) need some financial assistance.

As you walk by, you look at the deceased’s picture and the family that has gathered around. Your only concern is how the deceased met his death. Was it a long illness bravely born? Was it an accident? Was it thugs? Did he die suddenly? Then you begin thinking about your own mortality.

But one of the deceased family members confronts you. She forcefully wants you to be empathetic and respond in kind by parting with your hard-earned cash. It is nauseating, that level of entitlement. You ignore her and walk on. She is not done with you and shouts:

“Ata wewe utakufa!!!” where did that come from? Really? Was it even necessary? She says it as though she is never used to being rejected or ignored. Or she had signed a pact with God that whoever she talks to parts with something. The nerve!! Benevolence is not compulsory.

In anger at her statement, you respond in kind ‘pia wewe utakufa!’She adds more insults that put to question whether she was actually bereaved or not. You walk on.

 

Tuesday, 23 May 2023

Do Not Plead

everything has been spoken 
and I am here to leave a token 
maybe of appreciation or not 
for I am glad you told me I came short 

I am not bitter, though I should be 
It can be hard sometimes to see 
how far down you have fallen 
not especially with pride and ego swollen 

I'd love to be here again tomorrow 
but I am gonna leave my heart to fallow 
let it grow some weeds 
because I believe it's what it needs 

do not plead, do not ask me to stay 
it took all my strength to walk away 
I'll be watching you at a distance 
celebrating your success at every chance 

Sunday, 21 May 2023

Perfect Solitude

One early morning, 
I sat alone sipping my vodka, 
the pervasive silence that engulfed 
the room
spoke of perfect solitude 
I was at peace
with myself, and the world, 
and there, I resolved that 
going against the grain 
against norms 
against everything 
would lead me to happiness 
I didn't 
yet I have no regrets